Ned's Declassified Fanfiction net Survival Guide
by OyNebach42
Summary: Ned's guide to FF, deals with time,Getting started,Pen Names, reviews, polls, flames, forums, writing stories, definitions of FF words. Read review and Enjoy! Also read Kelsey's Declassified Fanfic Survival Guide by Euphoric Weaver
1. Timing

Alright everyone, I can't tell from where this Idea came so bear with me. I own nothing. Read, review and enjoy!-OyNebach42

Ned's Declassified Survival Guide

Note To Reader: Your Results May Vary 

Timing

Ned pushes back his office chair from the computer he'd been working on and stands up. "Fanfiction, the thing that keeps the imagination flowing. A website were kids who like to read and write can post stories, and read them. A great life saver, but we all know that sometimes things can get a little tricky."

"Mister Bigby, take a seat!" A harsh voice called from the teacher's desk, Ned obeys half-heartedly.

"The first rule about Fanfiction, like about any other website, is to stay off of it during computer class." Coconut head is bent over his monitor, eagerly glancing through pages. "Most school computer's don't have Internet access, but if you're school's one of the lucky one's, don't blow it."

Passing teacher turns off Coconut Head's monitor, the helmet haired kid frowns.

"Also remember that all good things can get a little addictive, so pace yourself, don't get hooked on a story at Midnight." Cookie is quickly scanning computer screen in his room, oblivious to the load banging on his door in the background. "Remember to pace yourself, the stories aren't going anywhere. Don't be upset if you can't finish a story in one setting, because odds are it will still be there later and you can easily pick up where you left off."

"Know when to call it a night, this is hard depending on where you live. Kids in the U.K have a lot longer to wait for the American kids to get done with school and update stories. But hey, writers have been working around location for years and it hasn't stopped anyone. Be patient, and cool it, the story will get updated."

The bell rings and class starts breaking up, Ned's putting his stuff in his bag when Moze runs up. "Ned quick, I need help on when to become a Member Of Fanfiction."

Ned turns back to the camera. "If you're wondering about the best time to become a member of Fanfiction, pick a time when you won't be so busy, like a week-end. If you try juggling a homework and trying to come up with a pass word, things may not go so well."

A/N: So, tell me what y'all thought. I have more Ideas for other chapters, this is just a short one to let me see how people like the idea, let me know what you think!-OyNebach42


	2. Getting Started

I just want to start this off by thanking everyone who reviewed, and by saying that I'm really sorry; it's taken me forever to get up another chapter. Tried to make this one a bit more plot line then just tips, hope you guys like it. Here's the next chapter, RRE- OyNebach42

Getting Started

Ned is walking down the hallway, paying no attention to anything, when the end of a mop handle pokes him in the eye.

"Ow!" He exclaims raising a hand to his eye.

"Oh Sorry, didn't see you there Ned." Gordy calls swinging around and grasping the broom like a machine gun. "You O.K?"

Shrugging, Ned mumbles that he's fine.

"You don't see Crubs around here anywhere, do you?" The janitor asks looking down the halls, Ned does the same and shakes his head. Gordy sighs and pulls around his cleaning cart, and throws a drop cloth from the top. An expensive laptop sparkles into view.

"Wow, nice machine, Gordy," Ned says running a hand over the laptop, "how much did this cost?"

Gordy shrugs, "I don't know it's not mine."

"What do you mean, 'it's not yours'?"

The other frowned, "I kinda' borrowed it from Crubbs. So, I need your help with something."

"Sure, what?"

The custodian throws another glace over his shoulder, "I started writing again, so I found this website called 'fan fiction' and I want to put up a story I've written."

"O.K. Did you sign up?"

"Yeah, I did all that, but it wouldn't let me put up my story. I think maybe Crubbs hacked it."

Ned shakes his head. "How long have you been a member?"

Gordy checks his watch, "just ten minutes."

Ned faces the camera again; "if you just joined and want to put a story online, keep this in mind. Like with any agreement, it's best to read all the small print before you agree to anything, so that way, you know the terms of service. Because of security reasons, Fan Fiction won't let you put up stories straight away, first you have to wait a few days." He shows Gordy by clicking on the new story button that it says how many days you need to wait.

"Darn it!" The janitor curses, "I think Crubbs will find out of his laptop's missing before that-"

"Gordy!" A voice beside him calls; Gordy quickly covers the computer and whirls around.

"Can I get anything for you, vice Principle Crubbs?" He asks anxiously.

The man in the flashing hat nods, "yes, I think my laptop was stolen, and I want you to keep an eye out for it."

Gordy picks up his mop nervously, "uh, sure thing sir, I'll keep an eye out for it alright."

"Good," Crubbs mutters and walks off. Gordy gives Ned a premature thumbs up, when the Vice Principle turns back around.

"Oh and one more thing, Mister Bigby, you're late to class. And from the fact that you were hanging around Gordy, I highly doubt you have a hall pass. Get in my office-" But Ned's hasty departure stops him in mid sentence.


	3. Pen Names

O.K all you people, just want to tell you all something. I wasn't the first one to think up having a survival guide to Fan Fiction, the original idea belongs to Euphoric Weaver. Read her story, Kelsey's Declassified Fanfic Survival Guide it's amazing! If you want to know how to be good at Fanfiction, read it! So that means if you're a writer on this site you MUST click on it and read it. I found the advice to be nothing short of amazing and am telling all of you other people to check it out. That having been said, it's time for the next chapter. RRE-OyNebach42

Pen Names

Ned slips into class unnoticed and hurriedly takes his place next to Cookie. His friend turns to him instantly.

"Ned, do I look like a 'Dooms Day Machine' to you?"

"Uh?"

"I'm trying to think up a good pen name for myself, and I was wondering how Dooms Day Machine sounded."

Ned regards him frankly, "not like you. What's wrong with you old Pen Name?"

"I don't like it," Cookie frowns, "it was 'chocolatechip142' but I think that sounds kinda' sissy, don't you think?"

His friend shrugs, "It does a little, but you're defiantly NOT a 'Dooms Day Machine'."

Cookie sighs, "O.K then give me some good tips on how to choose a Pen Name."

Once again, Ned faces the camera, "Pen Names are one of the most over looked things on Fan Fiction. There that like signature that gives away something about the author's true nature. So remember, a pen name should reflect you."

Cookie shakes his head, "give me an example."

"O.K," Ned calls, "Let's take a look at this author, Weasel Hunter. You can tell by looking at the name alone that the person despises weasels, and that gives away something about them. Or Perfect Princess, that gives away a lot."

Cookie still frowns, "I don't think I'm very much of a 'weasel hunter' or a 'perfect princess', I mean give me an example of a name for me."

"Oh, that princess one won't work out so well would it?" He thinks some to himself, "How about 'Computer Wiz'?"

"I don't want to sound like a geek."

Ned blinks for a few moments, "maybe I should go over the whole, 'pen name gives away inner self thing'."

"Don't bother, my inner self just doesn't want the ladies on line thinking I'm a geek."

"A guy who only writes 'world of warcraft' and gets into the sciencey stuff in Starwars couldn't help but be a geek."

"Hey don't dis the geek, he may spend more time on his computer than he does anywhere else, but hey he's still got class."

Ned pounds his desk with a fist, "That's it Cookie! There's your new Pen Name!"

"Where?" His friend asks while glancing about himself.

Ned rolls his eyes, "don't you see?! Don't Dis The Geek; it's the perfect Pen Name for you! All the ladies will just think you're a though guy who stands up for little people, and it gives away something of your inner self."

"Don't Mess With The Geek," Cookie repeats in awe, "Ned that's going to be my Pen Name!"

"If you two boys don't start paying attention," Mister Swiney roars while rapping his desk, "your names will spell out Detention For A Week!"

Both Ned and Cookie grow instantly quiet, the former turns to the camera to get in one last word. "And remember, if you do change your pen name, your profile page changes too. Make sure to copy any of the info you want to keep before making the switch."

Bell Rings and Ned darts out of class.


	4. Good Reviews and The Not so Happy ones

I want to start out by saying 'sorry' for being away for so long, I had writer's block, all readers should be warned that it is going around and extremely catchy

I want to start out by saying 'sorry' for being away for so long, I had writer's block, all readers should be warned that it is going around and extremely catchy. Anyhow, I want to thank you all for reviewing and here goes nothing meant to be something! –RRE OyNebach42

Good Reviews and the Not So Happy Kind

Ned races down the hall towards the cafeteria. "Lunch," he remarks to himself as the picks up a tray, "my favorite time of the day."

"Hey loser!" A voice calls in front of him, Loomer smiles wickedly.

"Then again," Ned whispers turning around. A vice grip on his shoulder stops him. Sighing, our hero turns around to see the expression on Loomer's face has changed from sinister bully to down on his luck advice seeker.

"I need your help, Bigby." He pleads.

Ned sighs a second time, "if this is about you and Moze again, forget it."

"No, no, it's not about that; I'm just having a problem with this whole Fan Fiction thing."

"What's wrong?" Ned ask as he moves down the counter to get some food.

Loomer looks over his shoulders nervously, "I wrote this story see, and I'm having a hard time getting reviews."

"O.K, I can take a look at it I guess, if….."

"If what?" Loomer ask, going all bully again.

"Well, I was thinking maybe you'd stop picking on me for a while."

The bully seems to consider it, "how about if you fix my problem, I don't give you a mister Swirly after school like I was planning to."

Ned winces remembering his last dunking, "deal." Loomer smiles and leads him over to the back table.

The table is empty, except for Buzz and Corny who are discussing the fineries of drive by shootings, Ned tries not to listen as Loomer directs him to sit before his laptop.

"Nice back ground, I guess." Ned observes studying the picture of a coffin riddled with bullet holes.

"thanks," Loomer calls as he brings up a web browser that is already set up with Fan Fiction. "So here's my story, read it and tell me what you think."

Ned starts reading and is discussed, "once there was a pink rabbit named Curtis," He looks at Loomer who nods and smiles. Ned keeps reading, "he lived in a tree trunk, until one day, Killer the Badger came by and gunned him down, took his car and left. The End."

"Great, hu?"

Raising his lip repulsively, Ned ask, "and you're wondering why you don't have reviews?"

"Yeah."

Ned faces the camera, "if you wrote a story that no one's reviewing, the best thing to do is rewrite and repost, and unless your story is deprived of all plot line and only two sentences long, this should work."

"Wait a minute," Loomer stops him, "you're saying my story isn't good enough for reviews, is that what you're saying?!"

"Not exactly, I'm saying that if you rewrite it in a way that people can understand, they may review."

"Are you saying that my writing style stinks?"

Ned sees his life flash before his eyes, "no, you're story just needs more detail, plot, characterization, conflict, duologue, theme, and half a dozen other things."

Loomer tries to digest all of this, "so you're saying, if I put all that stuff in it, I'll get reviews."

"I can't guarantee anything, but you'll have a better chance."

"O.K so dig this, Once there was a pink **de-tailed** bunny named Curtis, he didn't have a tail 'cause he used to use **'plot'**. He had learned **Characterization** in college, but it never did him any good, 'cause he always got into **conflicts** with people anyway. So he could remember who he already fought with he kept a **duo-logue**. He died at a **theme** park of the common cold **and a dozen other things**. The End. Will that work?"

Slapping himself in the head, Ned groans, "That's not exactly what I had in mind. You see all those words I gave you were terms for good writing, like detail means describing stuff….."

"Whatever Bigby, I'm starting to think maybe you were giving me the double talk. I'm putting up my story the way it is, and if I don't get any reviews, you'll be taking a double ride on mister Swirly!" He chuckles evilly and puts up the new story.

Minutes pass, and all the while Ned is praying; 'please let him get a review, I don't care what it says, just let him get a review!'

"Hey look," The bully shouts excitedly before long, "I got a review!"

Ned looks on and as Loomer reads the review his smile changes to a frown.

"Hey Idiot, this 'story' doesn't belong in this category. So it has a pink bunny, big woop, you're story stinks." Loomer brakes down in to loud theatrical sobs.

Ned pats him on the back, "it's o.k. Loomer, the most important thing to remember if you get a bad review or 'flame' is to not let it get you down. Remember, most of the world's most accomplished authors got flamed; I mean Mark Twain, look at him. His book, Huckleberry Finn, was even band from most public places. But did that stop Mark?! Nope, he kept at it, and now people like his book so much the make us read it in school. Yep, but I'd hate to die knowing millions of kids for generations would be forced to write reports on my book." Ned stops when he notices Loomer is staring at him.

"Are you saying my story's going to be used in schools, is that what you're saying? That…. That I'll have to write a resurch report about Curtis the pink bunny?"

"No! I mean people may not like it so much now but one day……"

"You know what I think, Bigby? I'm thinking you lied to me and earned a ride on the porcelain express." His gang shouts with joy as they grab Ned and race to the boy's room.

Ned faces the camera once more before his is slam dunked, "and be careful who you critique, because a slip of the tongue, could end up with you in some sticky situations." His head is shoved into the bowl, and a sound similar to that of the ocean is heard.


	5. How to Combat the Lag

Long time no chapter people! I just want to say I'm sorry as always for making y'all wait like this….. Hope I can make it up with this next chapter! Once again, a hearty round of applause to all reviewers! - OyNebach42

How to Combat the Lag

Ned staggers out of the bathroom, soaking wet. Seeing him from down the hall, Suzie shouts. "Hey Ned!"

He turns towards her as she rushes to where he stands. She gets three feet away and stops. "wow, Ned, what happened to you?"

The boy sighs, "Loomer."

"Oh, were you making fun of his pet hamster behind his back again?"

"No. He's having a little trouble with getting reviews on Fan Fiction and-"

Suzie raises her hand to stop him, "Oh my G-d, did you say Fan Fiction! You have got to help me, Ned!"

"Why, are you having trouble getting reviews too?"

Suzie sighs, "I wish it were something that easy to fix, actually, people really seem to like my stories, I'm getting tons of reviews, and I've been added to favorite author lists over twenty nine times…. My problem is, I can't keep track with all my stories, I can't decide which one to update. I have over twenty stories you know."

Ned nods his head sagely, "the overworked syndrome. It's pretty common."

"Do you have any advice on how to deal with it?"

"Sure," He turns to the camera, "if you're having trouble keeping up with your stories, try these tips. Sometimes it helps if you focus on one story for a while, and don't worry about the others. That way your creative juices keep flowing in the right direction.

"Some writer's like to try something called the 'revolving door' were they update each story in turn, that can work pretty well too.

"But always remember, if you put up a new story on the spur of the moment, and then decide you don't want to update it anymore, please take it down. It's really frustrating for a reader to get to a cliffhanger chapter, only to find out the story has no end, and since it was put of three years ago, it probably never will."

Suzie smiles in understanding, "thanks Ned, I think I'll try that first method you suggested. I'll work on the story I'm writing about you."

"You're writing a story," Ned exclaims, "about me!?"

"Yeah," the bell rings in the background, "I'm sorry Ned, I really gotta' go to class, I'll catch you later!" She waves and disappears into a crowd of students. Ned stares after her, looking bewildered and a little scared.


	6. Overcoming Writer's Block

Wow, People!!!! I haven't had time to put up a new chapter in forever. Sorry about that, a thousand pardons to all my good readers. Thanks for all your reviews!

Overcoming Writer's Block 

Ned makes his way to English one, only to meet the class headed out the door. Cookie turns him into the traffic flow.

"Hey Ned, field trip to the library, remember? So we can get reference material for our research reports."

Whacking himself in the head, Ned sighs, 'oh yeah."

He follows his class to a yellow bus, which takes them to the library where they began leaving the bus. Ned has just climbed out, when he gets a hard shove to the left.

"Loomer," Ned starts, turning to face the pusher, "if you're still mad about that bunny thing- " He stops upon noticing that it wasn't Loomer at all, but Moze. She's trying get on the bus and simultaneously write in a notebook, which is leading to the calamity of everyone around her.

"Oh, hey Ned," Moze mummers, eyes still on her paper. Then suddenly, she explodes in rage. Hissing in anger she brutally rips the page out of her note book, and crumbles it.

Ned eyes her cautiously, "Moze, are you O.K?"

She roughly turns to fresh page, starts writing again, and snarls, "Fine,"

Ned leans back to Cookie, "is it just me, or is there smoke coming out of her nose?"

His friend ponders this for a moment, leans forward to get a view of Moze, and then nods. "There's smoke."

"I wonder what has her so angry."

"Why don't you ask her?"

"I tried that, she just growled at me."

Cookie nods his head wisely. "Seems to me that Moze is mad at you."

"At me? Why?"

"Maybe because you canceled on that whole, 'cram session' for the final, and went out with Suzie instead."

Ned considers this for a moment, and then rejects it. "No way, I explained the whole thing to Moze, she was totally cool with it."

Cookie arches an eyebrow, "are you sure?"

"Sure, I called her up and said, 'Hey kind of sorry this is last minuet and all, but I really can't make it, Suzzie and me have a date.' Moze said, 'O.K, sure, whatever', and hung up."

He friend lets out a long sigh, "and you think Moze sounded 'totally cool with it'?"

"Yeah, well-" He stops, "Not really 'totally', more like- No, no actually she didn't sound too happy."

"See." Cookie places a hand across Ned's shoulders and turns him to face Moze. "And that's why there's smoke coming out of her nose. Ned, Moze is mad at you."

"I guess you're right," He keeps his gaze at Moze a moment longer, then starts scanning the shelves. "So, I'm doing my report on Mountain biking, so if you see books I could use let me know."

Cookie frowns, "man, no way you're dodging this one. Moze is mad, Ned! You know will happen if you don't calm her down soon."

Ned nods, "she'll bite everyone's head off."

"Exactly,"

Ned takes a deep breath, "right, I'll do it."

"Good."

"Tomorrow."

"Ned!"

"Cook, she's gonna bite my head off!"

Cook pushes his lips together in thought, "Let me put it this way, Ned, if you don't get Moze back to normal before she starts yelling, I'll do some beheading of my own." He places a vice grip on Ned's shoulder to show he means business.

Ned winces, "O.k. O.k.! I'm going!"

Ten minuets later, Ned steps out from the historical section of the library, dressed in a suit of armor and slowly makes his way to Moze. She is bending over a desk, still writing on her notepad. As Ned approaches from behind, he is frightened by the rain of crumbled papers flying from either side of the desk. Trying to stop the clanking of his metal covered knees; he reaches out and taps her shoulder lightly.

"Uh, Moze,"

"What is it?!" She turns to face him, eyes red, teeth gritted.

Ned draws back, "nothing."

Her frown fades somewhat, "seriously, Ned, what were you going to say?"

Ned envisions his headless body stumbling through the library. He backs up a few feet, quickly. "Oh, nothing, it's not really that important-"

She turns back to her work with a huff.

"Look, Moze, I'm really sorry about our cram session… I know we'd been planning it for awhile and I really let you down by calling it off…."

Moze turns slowly to face him, Ned ducks instinctively. When his head remains on his neck, he looks up at her warily. To his surprise, Moze is half smiling.

"You think I'm mad at you?"

"Aren't you?!"

"No," Moze frowns again, "though I was a little ticked off."

"Alittle?"

"Yeah you did kind of let me down when you concealed our study plans, but I joined up with Lisa and Cookie instead, it wasn't too bad."

Ned rises to his feet, "so Moze, if you're not mad at me, then who are you mad at?"

She straitens her notebook, and brushes all the crumpled paper balls into a pile. "Oh, no one really, I'm just having some trouble writing."

"Research report?"

"No," she turns to Ned suddenly, "hey, you know allot about writing and stuff for Fan Fiction, maybe you could help me out."

"Sure thing," he pulls out the chair next to hers, and sits down in it with a clank. "Not the most comfortable suit of armor I ever had on. So, what do you need help with?"

Moze gestures to the mound of papers, "well, I have this really good idea for a story I want to write, but I can't think of how to start, and I keep trying but by the time I get to the second paragraph, I just get frustrated and quit."

"Sounds kind of like writer's block."

"It is, kind of," Moze pauses, "I mean it's not that I don't have anything to write about, because I do, it's just that the words won't flow."

Ned nodds, "block."

Moze looks at him expectantly, "so, is there anyway I can get rid of it?"

Ned turns to the camera, "if you're having some trouble with writer's block, trying these tips may help you out. First of all, try not to edit what you write as soon as you write it. Editing has its own time and place, but if you get caught in a loop editing and reediting your first chapter, leave that for later. Your job is just to get the words and ideas on paper first, and then worry about fixing everything later."

Moze half smiles, "O.K. that makes sense,"

"Or," He continues, "if you feel like you don't have any inspiration, lots of people find it helpful to reread some of their favorite authors' works. If they inspired you to write once, experiencing that again should give you the push to keep moving."

"I might do that."

"Oh and Moze, the most important thing to remember is not to give up. To stop writing and go on a long extended leave of absence is the worst thing you can do. You have to keep in mind that a block isn't forever, it goes away, and no way does having writer's block mean you're a bad writer. Almost everyone get's them, you just have to stick to it and hold out for the words to start flowing again."

Moze is actually really grinning by now. "Thanks Ned that really helps."

"Glad I could help." He stands up, "now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get this armor off. My legs are starting to chafe."

As he hobbles back to the historical section, Moze chuckles softly to herself. "A chaffing knight," She notices a copy of 'The Princess Bride' on the table and picks it up thoughtfully. 'Thanks Ned,' she thinks to herself, 'I just got my inspiration."


	7. Summaries

It's been a while I know, I'm really sorry I haven't updated in forever. I recently just finished high school, so I was busy with graduation and all that. Anyway I want to think all of you who have been reviewing and waiting so patiently for the next chapter. I appreciate the reviews a lot. So, enough of me rambling, go on, read the story.

Summaries

The computer lab is pitch dark, except for the glow of one computer. Ned is sitting in front of it, staring at the screen.

A whistling starts out of the room, and then grows into singing. Gordy jumps into the room picking at his mop like a guitar and shouting, "Because I'm bad, I'm bad, come on, You know, I'm bad, I'm bad, and the whole world has to answer right now to tell you one again who's-" He stops his solo in mid-note when he notices he's not alone. "Ned, what are you doing in here?" He asks, "I'm just about to lock up." Then he adds quickly, "you didn't happen to see any what I just did, did you?"

Ned looks up, smiling innocently, "you mean this?" He asks playing Gordy's dance sequence on his phone. "You were right, you are bad!" He laughs.

Gordy makes a lunge for the phone, "come on, delete that."

Ned shakes his head, "no, I think some one would like to see this first, like Crubs."

"You wouldn't!"

Ned just smiles.

"Alright," Gordy sighs, "what are your demands? Keys to the teacher's lounge? My year supply of spray cheese?"

"Tempting," Ned admits, "But right now I just need your help with something."

"What's that?"

Ned points to his computer screen, which is displaying the form you have to fill out before posting a new story. All the boxes are filled except one.

"No!" Gordy exclaims, "Please, anything but that!"

"Gordy, I want you to write me a (background: BUM, BUM, BUM!) Summary!"

Lightning strikes, thunder booms.

"Ned, you can't be serious! That's so diabolical!"

Ned shrugs, "That's my demand."

"Oh, alright, fine," Gordy sighs. He sits down in the seat next to Ned's, "Alright, I see here that your story is about Star wars, the main characters are Han and Luke, it's rated K+, and it's an action/adventure story. It's also called, ' Blaster Bolts'.

"Before I write the summary I need to know two things, what's going to happen, and is there a monster."

Ned gives him an odd stare, "Well, Luke and Han are going to go to a planet to look for a secret Empire holdout, there could be a monster..."

"O.K, check this out," Gordy's fingers began to flash across the keyboard keys, "Luke and Han are on a planet looking for an empire holdout, there could be a monster, I suck at summaries, read and review." He smiles at Ned.

Ned frowns, "Gordy, what is that?"

"It's a summary," the janitor mutters, "that's how I always write them."

Ned shakes his head, "That's not what I wanted at all! I wanted a summary that makes the reader what to click on my story!"

"If I was looking for a story about Han and Luke and maybe a monster," Gordy cut in, "I would click on it."

"I wouldn't!" Ned exclaimed, "Gordy the first thing anyone knows about summaries is NEVER to write the words, "I suck at summaries," in the summary!"

Gordy looks surprised, "Why not?"

"Because, if people are looking for a fic to read, and they see "I suck at summaries", than maybe they'll think that that's not the only thing you suck at. I mean if you can't write a summary that doesn't suck, can you write a story that doesn't?"

Gordy looked thoughtful, "I guess you have a point."

"Plus," Ned continued, "it uses up some of the 225 letters you're allowed to use on a summary. You need as many of those for the summary itself as you can."

"OK, well aside from the summary thing," Gordy continued, "the rest was pretty good."

"It's not bad," Ned allowed, "but it's not amazing either. I mean it doesn't grab your interest that well. It needs some pzazz, something to give it that wow effect."

" 'Pzazz', 'wow effect'?" Gordy wondered.

Ned gave an embarrassed smile, "he-he, my mom's been watching these decorating shows. But anyway you get the point, something that says 'hey all you little people out there, this story rocks, so you'd be smart to read it', you know?"

"Oh, gotchya, so, um, how about this? Han and Luke are searching a hostile planet for an Empire hideout, and they might not be alone. Read and review."

"Um, not bad, it's getting there."

Gordy scratched his chin, "how about you have a quote from the story? Or something?"

Ned nods, "it's a good idea, if you have a quote in your story that you know for sure will grab the reader's attention, it might be a good idea to use that."

"Do you have a super cool, suspenseful quote?" Gordy asked.

"Not really yet, my story's still in progress."

"Ah, um, how about a rhetorical question? Like 'Was the Empire destroyed, or is there a contingency? When rumors of a pocket of Imperial troops on a far off planet reach the federation, they send their two greatest heroes Han and Luke to find out. But when they arrive, our heroes find that their not t- Oops. Word limit."

"No, I like that last one best of all; we just have to shorten it to fit the word limit. Let's see, the start is amazing, but the middle's sort of wordy, hu... Um, how about 'Was the Empire destroyed, or is there a contingency? When rumors of a planet harboring a pocket of Imperial troops reach the federation, they send Han and Luke to investigate. But when they arrive, our heroes discover the planet holds a deep dark secret"

"Yes!" Gordy exclaims, "it makes the word limit, has pzazz, and if I was looking for a story about Luke, Han and a monster I would click it. But you don't have room for the read and review..."

Ned smiles, "You don't need it, Gordy. When a summary speaks for itself like that one, well, people will just click on it, read it, and review it without you having to ask!"

Ned turns to the camera, "So when it comes to writing a summary, remember these things: Never use the praise "I suck at Summaries" in a summary, or at all really. Next, remember the word limit, and stick to it, this is one of the most annoying parts of writing a summary, and can be especially tricky if you have to write something in the summary about what's inside as well, like "Spoiler" or "Noze", whatever that is. Also remember that quotes and rhetorical questions work good, pzazz and wow effect should be your main goals when writing a summary. Remember, the reader is going to base your story on whatever you write in that summary box, so no pressure."

"Wow," Gordy yawns, "well, it's late I'd better lock up, but first, you delete that video."

Ned smile gets an evil glint, "I don't know, Gordy, you're so good at summary ideas. Do you think you could help me think of a title?"

"No."

Ned clasps his hands and gives the puppy dog eyes, "please?"

"Nope."

"Pretty, pretty please?"

"No, Ned, now delete that file!"

"Pretty, pretty please, or I push this button and your video hits the web, and Crubs get's it emailed to him?"

Gordy frowns, "you're very evil,"

Ned smiles, "I know."


End file.
